is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
