I hate all girls vehemently.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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