do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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