omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
