Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
