You're so nebulous sometimes
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so let's talk penis.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
