i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
