For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
