you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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