My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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