There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
