I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
