So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Couch. On fire.
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