Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
