dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
