I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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