yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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