what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
