I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
