My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Sorry about my life...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
