people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
