Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
