The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
