Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
