I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
