I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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