I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
