Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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