if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
