So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
