how can u be prego again
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
