i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Randomize
