How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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