But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
