Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize