So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
