my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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