I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
