Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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