it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
