I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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