I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
