I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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