Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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