when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
