Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
