Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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