just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
