Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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