He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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