i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
