omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
