So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
