Im at strip club and am horny
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Help. Why am I so naked?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
