How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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