I am spending my child support on dildos
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
