I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
