you guys were way drunker than both of me
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
