finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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