i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
